A Gathering Voices Post from TheThoughtfulChristian.com Team
Here are some questions to use either in a group setting or individually after reading Love to Stay by Adam Hamilton. There are also suggestioned actions after each chapter that can be done individually or with your partner.
1. In Chapter 1 Hamilton suggests a biblical rational for marriage and defines the type of agape love necessary for any marriage. He says our natures are not naturally selfless, but rather selfish. The Christian ideal of sacrificial, selfless love of the other can help couples work towards living this agape love. For you, how do Christian ideals help married couples build lasting relationships?
2. Did you repeat wedding vows of the ancestors in faith or write your own? Whatever you did, review the vows you made to one another and reflect on what they mean to you today. Which vows have been the most difficult for each of you?
3. Chapter 2 discusses what the women and men in Hamilton’s surveys said were most important to them in their partners. He then discusses the importance of investing in your marriage. How have both of you invested in your marriage over time?
4. Make the list of five specific things your spouse could do that would make you feel loved. Read each other’s list. What surprised you? Which can you commit to doing?
5. The book suggests taking an annual marriage performance review. Make five to ten behaviors you each want to work on for the next year and commit to periodic discussions about how you are succeeding, or not. Consider making this an annual event.
6. What do you need your spouse to forgive you for?
7. When you have read the entire book, write a love letter to one another. Read them together.